Teens Need God’s Word

How much time do you devote to reading your Bible, teenager? Do you find it difficult to make time? If you got an invitation from a friend to go to Disney World, you would probably do anything it takes to be able to go, right? You’d get your chores done, you’d even do extra chores just so your parents would let you go. :) But do you feel the same way about reading your Bible?

Teenagers are not the only ones that struggle with this problem – all Christians do. But the sign of maturity lies with what the person does with this problem. The amount of time you dedicate to reading God’s Word is the very foundation of your Christian walk, teenager! It’s as important as eating! If you skipped a meal or two, you would be starving to death, wouldn’t you? It’s the same with the spiritual part of your body when you are a true born-again Christian. If you don’t read God’s Word faithfully, your spiritual life will starve. You will always have difficulties with your parents, your siblings, your friends, school, and life in general. Without God’s Word in your heart, you won’t know how to deal with these difficulties!

~Luke 4:4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

Reading the Bible will keep you from sin!

Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Reading the Bible builds you up – it builds your faith.

Acts 20:32 And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.

Reading the Bible instructs you and teaches you what God expects from you. Proverbs has 25 verses that talk about instruction and its importance. There’s a reason why there are so many verses, actually. Some people don’t want to be taught. They don’t want to know what God’s Word says because that means they will have to obey His Word. But disobedience brings heartache and drama in a person’s life. Continuous disobedience stems from childhood. A young lady who has not been disciplined and taught properly will continue to disobey when she is older. As a result, she will have so much drama in her life, she will be miserable!

It is foolish not to want God’s blessings! In fact, Proverbs calls these people fools! I realize these are a lot of verses to read but they are needful for someone who struggles with reading her Bible.

~Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of knowledge: [but] fools despise wisdom and instruction.

~Proverbs 1:8-9 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9 For they [shall be] an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

~Proverbs 4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.

~Proverbs 4:13 Take fast hold of instruction; let [her] not go: keep her; for she [is] thy life.

~Proverbs 5:23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

~Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment [is] a lamp; and the law [is] light; and reproofs of instruction [are] the way of life:

~Proverbs 8:10 Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold.

~Proverbs 8:33 Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.

~Proverbs 9:9 Give [instruction] to a wise [man], and he will be yet wiser: teach a just [man], and he will increase in learning.

~Proverbs 10:17 He [is in] the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth.

~Proverbs 12:1 Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof [is] brutish.

~Proverbs 13:1 A wise son [heareth] his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

~Proverbs 13:18 Poverty and shame [shall be to] him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.

~Proverbs 15:5A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

~Proverbs 15:32 He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

~Proverbs 15:33 The fear of the LORD [is] the instruction of wisdom; and before honour [is] humility.

~Proverbs 16:22 Understanding [is] a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools [is] folly.

~Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

The devil does NOT want you to read it because he knows that you will become more Christ-like if you do. That’s the last thing that he wants. He’ll provide distractions so that you won’t have time to read your Bible. The devil will put friends in your life that will want you to go here and there with you. Or he will put something on TV that you will want to watch more than read your Bible.  The devil is not stupid! He’s very clever and knows your weaknesses better than you do. He will do anything to keep you from reading your Bible because he knows that this is where the power of God lies. The devil wants you to stay away from your Bible so that you will continue in sin. God’s Word teaches us, convicts us of sin, and shows us how to live Godly lives:

~Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Teenager, if you are having troubles and you feel as though your life is coming apart, check your life and your priorities. Setting spiritual priorities is the key to becoming a mature adult. I don’t know one teenager yet that doesn’t want to be treated like an adult and I’m sure you feel the same way :) So if you do not have a specific time set aside to read your Bible, start today! :) Make a commitment to yourself … share that commitment with your parents … share it with your best friend :) Challenge your best friend to read as well and set goals for the two of you. Those who love you will desire this right along with you :)

The best reading plan I’ve ever found was here: Best Reading Plan EVER! As you read, you will discover answers to your everyday problems. God’s Word plants seeds in your heart and as you go through life’s difficulties, you will stop to think about a particular verse that you read which applies to that very difficulty. The Word will encourage you when you’re down and will keep you from sin! :)

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Mean words

~Proverbs 13:3 He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

It’s so easy to open your mouth and spill out an insult, isn’t it? It takes a LOT of will power to keep the mouth closed! It takes training! Today’s verse is all about “keeping the mouth.” Just as you keep an eye on your younger sister, you have to keep an eye on your mouth – keep an eye on your heart.

Notice the first part of today’s verse? If you keep your mouth, you keep your life. What could that possibly mean? It can’t possibly mean that if you speak out an insult that you will die. So it has to mean something different. It is talking about the “quality” of life that results when someone keeps a guard over the things that they say.

~Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words [are as] an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

~Proverbs 15:26 The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words.

The words that come out of your mouth reflect the kind of Christian you are. If you speak kind words, it shows that you are yielding yourself to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work in your heart through God’s Word. When you are kind, those around you will respond in the same way. Even when they don’t, you will feel better about yourself because you are obeying God’s Word.

However, if you have the tendency to insult your siblings, call them names, or say mean things to your parents, something is wrong with your heart. I’m not saying this to be hurtful – this isn’t my personal opinion but it is what Jesus said:

~Matthew 15:18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

Jesus is telling us that our heart is defiled when we speak mean words – that goes for cursing as well. The definition of defile is:

Made dirty, or foul; polluted; soiled; corrupted; violated;

If your heart is dirty and polluted, you will say things that are dirty and polluted. But when you are reading God’s Word and trying to apply what you learn to your life, you are making your heart clean. I love this next verse because it is the one verse that shows us how to keep ourselves from sinning:

~Psalm 119:9 Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed [thereto] according to thy word.

Read that verse to yourself and insert your name in the verse … let’s say your name is Shelley:

Wherewithal shall Shelley cleanse her way? by taking heed [thereto] according to thy word.

If you “take heed” (obey and apply to your life) to God’s Word, you will be cleaning that defiled heart of yours :)

What if the shoe is on the other foot? Do you like to be called names? If you were honest with yourself, you would say “no.” Do you like being made fun of? Be honest. No one does! It hurts feelings and makes you have a bad day, doesn’t it? Why, then, would you be so quick to open your mouth and hurt someone? Even if it is your younger sister, she’s a “someone.” Maybe you don’t do it on purpose – maybe you have a quick temper. That, too, is having a heart that is defiled, as Jesus put it.

If you are a true born-again Christian, you will be “pierced” in the heart with conviction by the Holy Spirit when you  realize this sin in your life. If this is you, teenager, then ask for forgiveness from the one you said mean things to. Go to your Heavenly Father and admit your sin to Him. Then ask Him to help you yield to His Holy Spirit so you can train yourself to speak good words only.

I’m ashamed to say that there are Christian adults who have not learned this yet! :( So you are not alone! But just because some adults have not yielded themselves to the Holy Spirit doesn’t mean that you have to follow their path. In fact, you can “shine” when you are in their presence and teach them a thing or two on what you have learned from the Lord :) We should never base our own spiritual walk on someone else’s, right?

Kind words go so much further than unkind words. I like being around someone who is sweet and never says an unkind thing about anyone. I want to be that kind of person to others, don’t you?

Posted in Devotionals

Choosing Friends Wisely

~Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

It’s so hard to find a friend who loves you for who you are. There are so many out there that want to be friends only because you have something to offer them. This is sad but very true today! It’s not WHO you are to them but WHAT you have that makes them like you. So how does one go about choose friends wisely?

The best place to look is in the Bible! The Book of Proverbs has so much to say about friends, both good and bad. The very first place one needs to look is the first part of Proverbs 18:24:

~Proverbs 18:24a A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly:..

To be able to find a friend, you must first be friendly to people.  Maybe you are the shy type and it’s difficult for you to make friends. If that’s the case, you will be lonely a long time :( One thing you can count on, however, is that you are not the only shy person on the face of this earth :) There are other shy teen girls everywhere so you need to find one. Pray that the Lord would send you a friend that you can encourage and be a good friend to. Finding a friend doesn’t just involve being friendly but it involves you being good to your friend – loving her, doing nice things for her, sharing your thoughts and dreams with her, etc. It’s not all about what she will do for YOU! But it’s all about what you can do for her.

Start your search in your church. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? You do not want to become best friends with someone who isn’t saved. If you do, this friend will lead you to the paths of sin. Find a friend who loves the Lord like you do. It will make your life so much easier because she won’t be leading you to doing wrong with her.

The world sees friendship with selfish and covetous eyes. True friendships are rare because they have motives behind their friendship. They are your friend because you have the latest clothes; they like you because you have the latest games; you’re their friend because you have money:

~Proverbs 19:4, 6 Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.  6 Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man [is] a friend to him that giveth gifts.

Solomon was wise, wasn’t he? He was the richest King that ever lived and I’m sure that these two Proverbs were written out of experience. Everyone who has money finds that he has a lot of “friends.” But it’s really not true friendship at all. This is definitely not the type of friendship you want. Why? Because when you run out of money or your games break down, these friends will find someone else and leave you behind. :(

So, once you have found a friend, work on that friendship by being a good Christian friend to her. Encourage her in God’s Word and be ready to listen when she needs someone to talk to. Whatever you desire in a friend should be how you treat that friend. Go the extra mile for your friend and be there for her when she is in need of a shoulder to cry on. Stand by her through trials and hard times as well as through the good times :)

~Proverbs 27:6 Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful.

Sometimes teens listen to their friends before they listen to what their parents have to say. So be certain that your friend will lead you to the Scriptures when you ask her advice on something. It’s easy to get into trouble when you follow your heart or your friend’s heart! But when a friend encourages you through God’s Word, you will never go wrong :)

~Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so [doth] the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.

The Bible warns us about making friends with people who have tempers and are angry. This isn’t talking about an occasional outburst here. This is talking about someone who is never satisfied; someone who is always talking badly about her parents or is always arguing with them. This type of girl will lead you to do the same thing. There are so many girls out there who are looking for a genuine friendship and who obey and love their parents.

~Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

Finding just the right friend might take some time but it will be well worth it in the end. My mother was best friends with a lady that lived down the street. Her daughter was three years younger than me but we were best friends as well. We have been best friends ever since! Our friendship has never died but has been faithful for over 50 years! In fact, she is the one that led me to the Lord! :) \o/ That is true friendship! She has stuck by me through my trials and shared them with me through prayer. When I was going down the wrong path, she led me to the Bible and showed me that I was sinning. She encouraged me when I was down and rejoiced with me when I was celebrating. That is a true friend. There are never any strings attached to her love for me!

Friendship will help you to see the type of friend that Jesus Christ is. The Bible says:

~Proverbs 18:24 A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.

 How can someone be a friend that is closer than your brother or sister? Someone who will do anything for you, even to the point of suffering a cruel death, is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Wow! Now there is a picture of true friendship :)
Posted in Devotionals

Why is this happening to me?

~Psalm 46:1 To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth. God [is] our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Whenever something goes wrong in life, do you ever wonder: “Why is this happening to me!” Believe me when I say that you are not alone. This happens to adults as well, I’m afraid :(

Sometimes things happen to us because of sin. For example: Let’s say you tell your parents a lie about where you are going and they find out and punish you. Do you wonder why this is happening to you? You must realize that you are being punished for lying. But sometimes, bad things happen to good people. That’s what I’m talking about today.

Christian teenagers have the most awesome opportunities to witness to other Christian teenagers. Why? Because most unsaved teenagers feel that adults don’t understand them so they will talk to another teen. This is when you can help them the most. If you are going through a major trial but yet you still have a positive attitude, that will speak volumes to your unsaved friends. They will want to know why and you’ll be able to tell them it is because of Jesus in your life. This is one of the reasons why God allows trials to come our way. We learn to depend on Him instead of our friends or family.

Jesus wants us to find peace through Him when we are going through difficult times. He wants to use us as a witness of His power in our lives.

~Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Are you going through difficulties right now? Take time to feed your spirit by reading the Bible – especially Psalms. David went through a lot of trials and recorded many of them in Psalms. Some of his trials were due to his own sin (he had Uriah killed and he also sinned with Bathsheba) but many were so we could be encouraged today by reading Psalms :) After reading, pray and talk to the Lord and tell Him how you are feeling. Ask Him to show you how you should act in this situation. Many times He reveals His will for us through the reading of His Word. His grace is always present when we need Him the most!

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My Must Haves

~Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbour’s.

Coveting is not a word that is common today.  It is better known as the “I’ve just gotta have” disease. The latest technology – the latest clothing – the latest sneakers – the latest everything is on top of every teenager’s list. If you don’t get it right now, it’s practically the end of the world!

Let’s look at what God thinks of this type of desire in your life. You will have to be honest with yourself to get anything out of today’s topic. Put aside what you think are your “rights” and dig into the Word of God to see what HE thinks. Coveting is really strong desire to have something that someone else has and that you want. Coveting also goes to the point of doing whatever you can to get what you want, even if it involves doing something wrong to get it. Someone who covets is never content or satisfied with what they have – they always want what they don’t have. This isn’t just a teenager’s problem – it is a “people” problem. We are in the “gotta have it NOW” generation and it affects everyone. But it isn’t what God wants for us.

Two things come from always getting what you want: (1) debt (2) and wanting more. The Tenth Commandment, today’s Bible verse, condemns the practice of coveting – it condemns the DESIRE to have something you don’t have or have enough of… coveting always wants MORE. This is what the Tenth Commandment condemns. It’s like looking at today’s picture. Coveting is wanting the whole “globe” instead of waiting and getting it piece by piece. Young married couples want the new house, furniture, cars, boats, etc. right after they get married. They get themselves into tremendous debt at the beginning of their marriage. This sets them up for some major arguments, struggles and long-term debt. This is all due to a lack of maturity – they are not content to wait until they can afford to buy certain items… they have to have those items NOW.

Coveting is also a very selfish desire and when it reaches this point, a person is willing to get what he/she wants at the expense of others. This is especially true in relationships. A good example of this is when a girl will do whatever she can to get a guy, even at the expense of losing her best friend. This is extremely self-centered and is not Christ-like at all.

~Philippians 4:10-13 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

The Apostle Paul new what it was to be content. Being content is the end result of maturity. Just because someone is an adult doesn’t mean they are mature. There are many adults who covet and are never satisfied with what God has blessed them with. They always want more. Being a spiritually mature teenager demands spending time in the Bible and applying what God teaches to one’s life. God wants us to be grateful for what we have which, in turn, makes us content. :)

God may want you to have clothing but He doesn’t necessarily want you to have $100 shoes. It’s unfair for you to ask your parents to buy you such costly things. However, some things are costly and are needed – like uniforms for sports, etc. Rather than desiring the latest trends, be satisfied with what your parents can buy you at Wal-Mart. If you absolutely have to have an expensive item, you should be willing to work for it.

Think about those things which you think you must have. Pray about it and talk to your parents about it. Ask their opinion. If they say no, then be content with what you have. Throwing a temper tantrum because you can’t get what you want is not being mature at all. It only enforces that you do not know how to be content. The answer is to train yourself to be content (satisfied) with what you have.

~Proverbs 23:4-8 Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. 5 Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for [riches] certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven. 6 Eat thou not the bread of [him that hath] an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart [is] not with thee. 8 The morsel [which] thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

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Back Talk

~Ephesians 6:2-3 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Honoring your parents is not something new – it isn’t something your parents demand just to make your life miserable. It is a serious matter. So much so, God included it as one of the Ten Commandments (the Fifth Commandment):

~Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

When you talk back to your parents, you are not honoring them at all. It doesn’t matter if the point you are trying to make is right or if you just have to make them understand. Talking back doesn’t make a conversation. A conversation is an exchange of ideas in a calm and respectful manner. Controlling your behavior is very much an “adult” thing. If you’re not able to control your behavior, then you can’t expect your parents to treat you like an adult.

When you are honoring your parents, you are recognizing their position of leadership in your life and your need to respect that authority over you. In fact, if you don’t learn to honor your parents, you will not honor authority when you are an adult. Learning lessons such as these prepares the teenager for adult life – for adult problems – for adult real-life situations!

What are some ways you can dishonor your parents? You can dishonor your parents through stubbornness, making fun of them (mocking), scorning, angrily talking back to them, thievery, and violence.

~Proverbs 10:32 The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked [speaketh] frowardness.

Frowardness means “reluctance to yield or comply; disobedience;” God compares talking back to wickedness! I don’t think a saved teenage girl realizes that when she talks back to her parents, she is being wicked… but God considers it wicked! If everyone realized what God thinks of their words or their actions, they wouldn’t be so quick to do them.

Are you guilty of talking back to your parents? Take care of it the adult way … ask their forgiveness and admit your sin to God. Then ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and help you to be more Christ-like in this area. God has given you the power of the Holy Spirit in your life and He wishes to teach you all about His fruit. :)

~Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

What do these fruit have to do with talking back? Do you see yourself and your actions in these fruit as you are talking back? Are you displaying love as you are yelling? Does the action reflect peace? Does talking back show your longsuffering (patience)? How about gentleness? Are you displaying goodness as you are mouthing off to Mom? Does it reflect your faith in Christ? Are you being meek (quiet, submissive)? Are you displaying temperance (self control)? A true born-again Christian will desire to obey God’s Word. Reading your Bible is good, but applying God’s Word to your life is even better :)

So what do you do when you need to say something to your parents but you don’t want to be guilty of talking back? You simply have to wait! Wait until the “heat of the moment” is over and your anger has calmed down. Pray and ask the Lord to help you have a gentle and meek spirit when it comes to speaking with your parents. Then practice on “growing” those fruit of the Spirit in your life. The best way is to feed yourself by reading the Bible. God’s Word cleanses us Psalm 119:9 Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed [thereto] according to thy word.

Here’s a good story that will help to explain this “feeding your spirit”:

There was a man who had two dogs, one black and one tan. He fed the black dog good healthy food while he left the tan one to eat whatever it could find outside. Eventually, the tan dog grew skinny, fell sick and died. The black dog, however, was nice and healthy.

What you feed yourself will determine how healthy you are – if you eat junk food, you’ll get sick. If you eat healthy food, your body will be able to fight off disease. This applies to your spiritual walk as well. If you rarely read your Bible, then you will develop habits that are just like those unsaved teens you know (like the tan dog). If you read your Bible and apply what you read to your life, you will see life in a totally different way. You will have a healthy spiritual walk (like the black dog) and will want to honor your parents. It takes work on your part but a true born-again Christian will have the desire to do the work!

So if you talk back to your parents, practice keeping your comments to yourself, go to your room and pray about what they said to you. Ask God to help you calm down and get your anger under control. He WANTS to help you in this way :) Then ask God to show you how you can talk to your parents without getting angry and impatient with them. The time and effort you put into honoring your parents will be a blessing to you in the long run. In fact, it will be a testimony to your unsaved friends! They will see something different about you and will want to know what it is in your life that makes you this way :)

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What Kind of Boy Should I Look For?

It is a “status symbol” today for young teenager girls to have a boyfriend. The world says that if you want to attract a boy, you have to dress like the rest of the girls. Showing off your bodies with low-cut tops only attracts the kind of boys you shouldn’t have. There was a saying on Facebook that went around a few days ago:

Girls think that if a boy looks at her, it makes her “popular” or that she is something special. But stop and think about it. If a boy just looks at you for your body, it does not say much for his character. You have thoughts, opinions, likes and dislikes, and things you enjoy in life. If all a boy wants is you for your body, he is not interested in anything else about you. That’s a very selfish characteristic in a person, don’t you think?

You do not absolutely need to have a boyfriend as a young teenager. What you absolutely need is to practice being the best Christian young lady possible. Then when you are ready, you can concentrate on finding the one that God has already picked out for you. The most important thing in your life should be that this boy/man (who will steal your heart) loves the Lord with all his heart. You won’t find this type of boy in the “world.” Anyone can say they are a Christian or that they love Jesus.

The Bible does not speak of dating. The relationships the Bible refers to deal with marriages or adultery. In biblical days, parents chose the boy a girl was to marry. But today, the girl makes her own choices. We will cover dating issues later on. But for today, let’s concentrate on what qualities you should look for in a boy.

What girl in her right mind wants a husband who will treat badly. The Bible says that we are to be equally yoked so the most important thing is to marry someone who is a true born-again Christian. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 

When you have found someone, take time to study him. Here are some warning signals which should alert you to stay away:

(1) lying – if he lies to you now, he will lie a LOT more after marriage; Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.

(2) jealousy and being a controller – these are tendencies which often lead to violence, in many cases; Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy [is] the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

(3) his desires – does he always want the latest gadget, new car, etc. If so, it shows a lack of self control. He will have difficulty saving money because he will always be spending it; 1 John 2:15-16 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

(4) can’t control his sexual desires – any boy/man who does not want to respect you in this area is not living for the Lord – it’s a dead giveaway; Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart [is] snares and nets, [and] her hands [as] bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.

(5) the way he treats his family, especially his mother – the way he treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife; Proverbs 15:20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

These are some of the things you shouldn’t want in a boy. Don’t settle for less! There are boys out there who want to live Godly lives and they are looking for girls who want the same thing. Marriage is a life-time commitment. Waiting on the man that God wants as your life-time partner is worth the wait! But if you depend on your own desires, you will end up “settling” for a man that will bring heartache later. That is not what God desires for you.

Look for a boy that is serious about God and his relationship with God. As a result, this type of boy will have a desire to “grow” his relationship with you. Is he humble? Proverbs 9:9 Give [instruction] to a wise [man], and he will be yet wiser: teach a just [man], and he will increase in learning. Is he honest? Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with [his] hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Is he selfless? A Christian boyfriend should be learning to be the kind of husband that loves his wife as much as Christ loves the church – willing to give his life for his wife and family. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Will  he be a good provider for his family? Not just in money but being the spiritual leader for his family. 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Will he be a good protector? Not just physically speaking but emotionally as well. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

As you decide what qualities you want in a husband, be sure to match your personalities. Your relationship with the Lord is extremely important. There is no room for dating an unbeliever! This starts a relationship against God’s will so what good can come of it? Once you have found another believer, see how your personalities match up? Do you have the same likes? For example, does he like lots of sports-like activities and you don’t? Does he like sitting and reading quietly but you like the outdoors? Sharing interests is important and gives you things to talk about and do together. Does he have a good sense of humor? Does he have a positive outlook on life or is he negative all the time? Remember, the fruits of the Spirit are peace and joy. A man who displays these fruits will be a good catch: Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

The girl who is patient (longsuffering is also a fruit of the Spirit) and waits for the boy/man that God intends for her will have a marriage that will bring her years of joy. Don’t settle for less. God doesn’t want you to – He has a man especially picked out with your dreams, loves, and desires all in mind. Why would you want someone who doesn’t meet up to these? When it comes to a man, set your standards high, based on the Scriptures, and you won’t go wrong :)

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