Photography by Cecelia Becker
Eph. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Col. 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Teenagers have a different way of thinking than adults. Spiritual maturity comes after a few years of being a Christian. It doesn’t happen over night, that’s for sure. I’m sure you’ve babysat a child before. That baby girl isn’t born crawling, is she? No, absolutely not! In fact, that baby can’t do a thing for herself yet. She is totally dependent on others to take care of her. As she grows, she learns to roll over, to crawl, to eat food from the table (rather than baby food), she learns to walk, to run, etc. None of these things happen right away.
It’s the same thing with our Christian walk. We are not born Bible scholars full of wisdom, although I wish we were! How much trouble that would have saved me early on in my salvation, LOL! :) Teenagers are no different. The human body undergoes enormous changes during those preteen and teenage years. Bones change – skin changes – the body forms adult features, etc. Even the heart and the mind of a teenager is different at this time. It’s all part of the wonderful and beautiful process of life!
Because a child is totally dependent on her parents, she is accustomed to stating what she needs and having those needs met. This is a constant throughout that child’s life until she reaches those teenage years. Once she does, she steps out into an adventurous time. She wants to do things for herself: earn her own money, go places without permission, buy her own clothes, listen to her own music, etc. Her thoughts and heart are motivated by things that she wants. The teenage girl no longer needs her parents as much as she did when she was younger, which is a good thing! However, she is still a part of their home. She is still under their rule of authority according to Scriptures.
So what does a teen girl do when her parents don’t agree with what she wants to do? If this teen girl isn’t saved, she rebels and throws a tantrum. But if she is a saved teen girl and loves the Lord, she will want to do what God wants her to do, amen? The Bible tells all children to obey their parents in the Lord. That doesn’t mean that if your parents tell you to steal, it’s OK to steal. Notice Eph. 6:1 says “in the Lord” – Col. 3:20 says to obey in all things. We know that God wouldn’t contradict Himself so Col. 3:20 means to obey in all things that are “in the Lord” – meaning in God’s Word and not known as sin.
When you obey your parents, you are in turn obeying God, teen girl. This fulfills God’s will in your life when you live under your parents house. There are plenty of verses about obeying God and how it is our duty as Christians to do so.
Deuteronomy 5:32-33 Ye shall observe to do therefore as the LORD your God hath commanded you: ye shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left. Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land which ye shall possess.
Deuteronomy 6:1-3 Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey.
Psalms 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
Psalms 112:1 Praise ye the LORD. Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments.
Psalms 119:9 Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.
Proverbs 21:4 To do justice and judgment is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
You may not agree with your parents’ decisions all the time. There will come a time in your life that you will finally understand why they did what they did to upset you. It’s true of my adult children now. They didn’t agree with us at the time they were being disciplined but they sure do understand it now and agree with why we had to discipline them.
The way you “think” at this point in your life may seem right to you. But remember, you are a younger Christian than your parents (most of you), and your body is undergoing many, many changes – of which, hormones are a big part. Recognizing that hormones cause thoughts and reactions to be different than those of adults is a big step in a teen girl’s life. This is why it’s so important to consult with wiser and older Christian adults about major decisions in your life. You may not like what you hear, but you will get sound counsel.
A good example of this is when it comes to a boyfriend. You may feel like you’re old enough to have a boyfriend. Your body may have finished developing and you’ve turned into a beautiful woman on the outside; but your mind and heart are still developing and sometimes takes a few years to catch up with the rest of your body. You may pick a boy because he’s cute and popular, which seems like the only way to pick a guy in your head and heart. However, older and wiser Christians know that these two qualities are very superficial and that the heart of a young man and his relationship to Christ are a whole lot more important. Your parents see this but you may not. This is one of the biggest arguments amongst teen girls and their parents today.
How do you solve it? You turn to the Lord and obey Him. In so doing, you’ll ultimately obey your parents! :)