It is a “status symbol” today for young teenager girls to have a boyfriend. The world says that if you want to attract a boy, you have to dress like the rest of the girls. Showing off your bodies with low-cut tops only attracts the kind of boys you shouldn’t have. There was a saying on Facebook that went around a few days ago:
Girls think that if a boy looks at her, it makes her “popular” or that she is something special. But stop and think about it. If a boy just looks at you for your body, it does not say much for his character. You have thoughts, opinions, likes and dislikes, and things you enjoy in life. If all a boy wants is you for your body, he is not interested in anything else about you. That’s a very selfish characteristic in a person, don’t you think?
You do not absolutely need to have a boyfriend as a young teenager. What you absolutely need is to practice being the best Christian young lady possible. Then when you are ready, you can concentrate on finding the one that God has already picked out for you. The most important thing in your life should be that this boy/man (who will steal your heart) loves the Lord with all his heart. You won’t find this type of boy in the “world.” Anyone can say they are a Christian or that they love Jesus.
The Bible does not speak of dating. The relationships the Bible refers to deal with marriages or adultery. In biblical days, parents chose the boy a girl was to marry. But today, the girl makes her own choices. We will cover dating issues later on. But for today, let’s concentrate on what qualities you should look for in a boy.
What girl in her right mind wants a husband who will treat badly. The Bible says that we are to be equally yoked so the most important thing is to marry someone who is a true born-again Christian. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
When you have found someone, take time to study him. Here are some warning signals which should alert you to stay away:
(1) lying – if he lies to you now, he will lie a LOT more after marriage; Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.
(2) jealousy and being a controller – these are tendencies which often lead to violence, in many cases; Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy [is] the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
(3) his desires – does he always want the latest gadget, new car, etc. If so, it shows a lack of self control. He will have difficulty saving money because he will always be spending it; 1 John 2:15-16 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
(4) can’t control his sexual desires – any boy/man who does not want to respect you in this area is not living for the Lord – it’s a dead giveaway; Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart [is] snares and nets, [and] her hands [as] bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
(5) the way he treats his family, especially his mother – the way he treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife; Proverbs 15:20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
These are some of the things you shouldn’t want in a boy. Don’t settle for less! There are boys out there who want to live Godly lives and they are looking for girls who want the same thing. Marriage is a life-time commitment. Waiting on the man that God wants as your life-time partner is worth the wait! But if you depend on your own desires, you will end up “settling” for a man that will bring heartache later. That is not what God desires for you.
Look for a boy that is serious about God and his relationship with God. As a result, this type of boy will have a desire to “grow” his relationship with you. Is he humble? Proverbs 9:9 Give [instruction] to a wise [man], and he will be yet wiser: teach a just [man], and he will increase in learning. Is he honest? Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with [his] hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Is he selfless? A Christian boyfriend should be learning to be the kind of husband that loves his wife as much as Christ loves the church – willing to give his life for his wife and family. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Will he be a good provider for his family? Not just in money but being the spiritual leader for his family. 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Will he be a good protector? Not just physically speaking but emotionally as well. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
As you decide what qualities you want in a husband, be sure to match your personalities. Your relationship with the Lord is extremely important. There is no room for dating an unbeliever! This starts a relationship against God’s will so what good can come of it? Once you have found another believer, see how your personalities match up? Do you have the same likes? For example, does he like lots of sports-like activities and you don’t? Does he like sitting and reading quietly but you like the outdoors? Sharing interests is important and gives you things to talk about and do together. Does he have a good sense of humor? Does he have a positive outlook on life or is he negative all the time? Remember, the fruits of the Spirit are peace and joy. A man who displays these fruits will be a good catch: Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
The girl who is patient (longsuffering is also a fruit of the Spirit) and waits for the boy/man that God intends for her will have a marriage that will bring her years of joy. Don’t settle for less. God doesn’t want you to – He has a man especially picked out with your dreams, loves, and desires all in mind. Why would you want someone who doesn’t meet up to these? When it comes to a man, set your standards high, based on the Scriptures, and you won’t go wrong :)