Follow Up to Modesty Post


838fb-deborah9Today’s post is a follow-up to the post from July 30th.  If you haven’t read it yet, you can read it here Modesty. I received comments both positive and negative comments on this post. But today’s follow-up is written in hopes that we reach out to those young ladies who have the wrong impression of modesty.

I challenge you, teen girls, to look for God’s direction in this area of clothing. Remember, it’s not just what you wear but how you wear it that matters. A girl can dress in a burlap sack but if she acts provocatively toward a boy, she has produced the same results as a girl who has exposed her body.

So with that said, I want to take this opportunity to share comments from a dear Christian brother, who has a teenage daughter of his own. His comments come from a boy/man’s perspective and I hope and pray that it will open your eyes to the need for modesty.

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Modesty – Comments from a Man’s Perspective
by Dan McWhorter

As a man, I can attest to the truth of this devotional. Men are visual; they are stimulated by what they see. I can assure you that if a woman (or girl) dresses in a way that reveals her shape (or more), men will look at her and thoughts of lust will IMMEDIATELY begin. This is true for men of all ages, and it’s a battle that men must fight to keep their minds pure, especially in the day in which we live.

Ladies, if you’re dressing in a way to attract a certain guy or in hopes of just attracting a guy, may I humbly remind you of something? You’ll not only attract who you hope (or want) to attract, you’ll also attract all manner of men:

  • You’ll attract nice guys, and you’ll attract bad guys.
  • You’ll attract young men, and you’ll attract old men.
  • You’ll attract athletes, and you’ll attract introverts.
  • You’ll attract the brothers of girls your age, and you’ll attract the fathers of girls your age.
  • You’ll attract those who may seem nice, cute, and have a great personality. But in reality, it’s a facade, because they only want one thing.

Also be aware, you’ll attract drug addicts, drug dealers, felons, rapists, thieves, murderers, perverts, and pedophiles.

Yes, you will attract guys by how you dress, but you will attract much more than you intended. Many of those whom you attract will take the way that you dress as a cue to pursue you. Yes, you’ll attract guys, but you’ll attract those you don’t want to attract also. When they see you dressed in a way that shows your shape (or more), you would be sickened to know what is going through their mind and hearts, including the bad guys, old men, introverts, fathers, drug addicts, drug dealers, felons, rapists, thieves, murderers, perverts, and pedophiles.

Sadly, as a man, I know what goes through the mind of men when they see women dress in a way that shows too much. I shudder to think what would go through the minds of men if they saw my wife and daughter dressed that way. I can’t even begin to imagine what I would do if I could hear the thoughts of their hearts while lusting after my wife and daughter.

Let me end by saying this, if you are dressing a certain way because it’s what you want, or if it’s so that you’ll be attractive to guys, you’re doing it for the wrong reason. From my heart, let me remind you that you belong to God if you’re a Christian, and everything you do should be done for his glory, not yours or for anyone else.

Isaiah 43:7 Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.

1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Does how you dress bring glory to God or does it bring glory to you? Does how you dress aid in stirring lust in the hearts of men? From the bottom of my heart, I humbly ask you to honestly consider those questions.

Posted in Devotionals | 2 Comments

True Friends


Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

What kind of friends do you surround yourself with, teen girl? Do your friends love you at all times as the above verse says? How about when there are troublesome times? Do your friends stick it out with you? Today’s verse tells us that when friends do stick it out, they grow closer to you – the Bible compares that friendship like the relationship you have with your brother or sister. It’s a greater bond than a mere acquaintance.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

A true friend doesn’t drop you one minute and take you back the next. If you have friends like this, RUN far from them. You be the one to drop them and keep your distance. These are not true scriptural friends at all. They will bring heartache to you just as the latter part of Proverbs 27:6 states. Their “kiss,” their friendship, is deceitful. They don’t love you for who you are. They want to be with you for what you can give to them – what they can get out of you.

True friends are not selfish. They prefer to give of themselves rather than take from you. They go the extra mile for you and don’t care what they have to do. The Bible says that the ultimate display of friendship is laying down your life for that friend. That’s what Jesus did for you!

John 15:13-15 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

So, teen girl, if you do not have the kind of friends who stick by you and love you for who you are and not what you have, then you need to find yourself a new line of friends. You need to find girls who truly love the Lord! Those are hard to find but they are out there.

Yes, it hurts when someone discards your friendship like dirty laundry. It’s also humbling because you didn’t catch it early. But that’s where wisdom comes in. If you stop for a moment and think about that friendship, did your parents tell you they didn’t like that girl? There’s a good possibility they did and you didn’t want to listen. Or maybe they didn’t but you didn’t like some of the things that friend did early on in the relationship but you just shrugged it off. It could be the Lord was trying to tell you something.

When looking for a friend, make sure that she is saved – that’s the #1 priority. Then watch her in church and around other kids your age. Is she worldly? Does she strive to be the center of attention with boys? These are areas that will bring you heartache later on. Your right choices now will be worth the effort later on.

I have a dear friend that I have known since I was three years old. The Lord used her 22 years later to lead me to Him! She has been by my side, spiritually speaking, ever since! I pray you find such a friend and that you seek the Lord’s guidance when you choose that friend.

Posted in Devotionals

Encouragement


When you are discouraged and sad, how do you encourage yourself, teen girl? Do you surround yourself with “positive” friends? Do you look for help from your parents? As good as both of these sources are, they are not a permanent solution. Your friends and your parents are human and may let you down some day.

Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

God commanded Joshua to be strong and of good courage. Not only did God command it but He provided the reason: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest. God would be there along every step of the way!

We have to seek God when we become discouraged. Contrary to popular belief, God is our hope and should be our only source. It is His strength that encourages our weary hearts. God provides us with everything we need to be encouraged. The devil is the one that brings discouragement and fear. But God is the opposite – He is Good – He is love – He loves you!

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Staying encouraged can only happen if you seek the Lord to encourage you. You have to go to the right source in order to get what you need. If you need gas for the car, you go to the gas station, don’t you? You don’t turn to your friends for it. It’s the same for when you need spiritual gas to fuel your spirit!

Psalms 28:7 – The LORD [is] my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Psalms 34:4 – I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

1 Sam. 30:6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

Psalms 121:1 – (A Song of degrees.) I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Staying in the Word of God is what will give you that encouragement that you need to continue on for Christ. Bouncing in and out of your Bible reading is not going to do the trick. You would fail school if you bounced in and out of your classes, right? It’s no different with your walk with the Lord, teen girl. You get what you put into it! You can do it! :-)

Posted in Devotionals

Motivation


Psalms 78:37 For their heart was not right with him, neither were they stedfast in his covenant.

Motivation – just what is it? The current Webster’s dictionary defines it as: the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.

If you love someone, you want to do nice things for that person. The motivating factor there is love, which causes you to behave in that way. But love comes and goes, doesn’t it? You can love a best friend one day and then, bam! That love is replaced with dislike because your best friend has betrayed you.

But when you look at a good Christian marriage, what do you see, other than love? What motivates that couple to stay married? I truly believe it is that couple’s steadfast dedication to the Lord and His Word. That steadfastness motivates them to continue in their marriage, whether good or bad things happen.

What about you, teen girl? What motivates you? If you don’t feel motivated about that toilet that your mother has asked you to clean, why not? Not only is it your duty out of obedience (Eph. 6:1 and Col. 3:20), but you should be motivated out of your love for your mother. Even more so, you should be motivated due to your steadfastness to the Lord in serving Him. So let’s look at that word for a bit.  Noah Webster’s dictionary says:

STEADFAST, STEDFAST, a. [stead and fast.]

1. Fast fixed; firm; firmly fixed or established; as the stedfast globe of earth.

2. Constant; firm; resolute; not fickle or wavering.

Just doing a simple word search in the Bible will give you some eye opening verses:

Psalms 78:8 And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

So this verse speaks of a rebellious and stubborn people whose hearts were not right with God and their spirit was not steadfast with God. This means that they didn’t continue in the faith. They didn’t read their Bibles every day. They didn’t “walk the walk” of their salvation but merely played the Christian.

Motivation is a result of being steadfast. If you are doing what you know to be right according to God’s Word, teen girl, you will be motivated to do what is right. This will be the gentle “shove” that you need to move forward for the Lord. One who is lazy and unmotivated is one that doesn’t take her walk with God seriously – the Word of God does not consistently dwell in her. When it does, it produces motivation, wisdom and joy!

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

1 Corinthians 9:24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

Colossians 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men

Posted in Devotionals

Are You Mocked?


Genesis 19:14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said , Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

If you read about Lot’s account in Genesis 19, you will see several areas that should cause your eyebrows to raise in disbelief. First of all, he tried to offer his daughters in Genesis 19:8.

Secondly, when the angels tried to get him out of the city before it would be destroyed, the Bible says that Lot “lingered”!!

Genesis 19:16 And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

Why do you think the Bible says that Lot lingered?  What do you think God is telling us here? Do you think it’s because Lot didn’t want to leave behind all that he had worked for? Do you think he didn’t want to leave his friends and his family? Do you think that anything would have been important enough for him to lose his life over, let alone his soul? Maybe he hesitated because he knew what a poor testimony he had been and all his friends and family would go to Hell once their cities were destroyed.

As a result, I think the worse thing about Lot’s account is that Lot lost his testimony with his family and friends. Even when he was trying to save his sons in law from perishing, the Bible says that they mocked him (made fun of him). Wow! Have you heard the saying, “Your walk is louder than your talk”? This is exactly what happened to Lot and his sons in law saw right through it.

When you compromise God’s word and live an unholy lifestyle, your “walk” (testimony) is ruined to those unbelievers who have been watching you. This is a dangerous place to be, teen girl. You are literally encouraging the unsaved to continue to spit in God’s face because you are not showing them how a person can have victory over sin through salvation. Then when you finally straighten out your life and try to be a testimony to them once again, they will laugh at you. Just as what happened in today’s text.

It is so important to be steady in our Christian walk. It’s vital that we continue to have a pure heart in all areas of our lives. No friend is worth losing to Satan. No friend of yours should go to Hell because of your bad testimony! Lot didn’t seem to care about that, obviously, and a dear price was paid. His married daughters and their husbands were destroyed along with Sodom and Gomorrah! How sad is that??? :'(

How’s your walk today, teen girl? Have you ruined your testimony to those unsaved friends you come in contact with, day-to-day? Start over – ask the Lord’s forgiveness – go to those friends and ask their forgiveness and try to win them to Christ again. If they mock you, move on and pray that you will be able to have another opportunity to be a testimony to them or that God would send someone else to witness to them.

Does God have to send someone to drag you away from the wrong you are doing as he did for Lot? It’s a horrible thought that others have to die and go to Hell because of our poor testimony! (Read Ezekiel 3:18)

Posted in Devotionals

Discernment



Genesis 3:12-13 
Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom. 13 But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.

I’ve always found it strange that men would gather for a festival where bulls would chase them. These men intentionally put themselves in danger. Many are hurt during this event – some have even died. One wonders why one would expose himself/herself to such things when they know full-well what will happen as a result?!

Are we any different, teen girl? Do we not do the same thing when we know we shouldn’t do something but yet do it anyway? When you read the account of Lot in Genesis, Chapter 3, you see Abraham gave Lot gave a choice of where to live. Lot looked around and he chose what “looked” good to him – lust of the eyes (just as Eve in the Garden of Eden when she looked upon the fruit). Today’s verses tell us that Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom. Lot could have pitched his tent away from Sodom but he didn’t. Lot was setting the ground work for sin in his life. He didn’t consider the outcome, just as those men in the picture.

James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Read verse 13 more closely. Notice that it says that Sodom’s citizens excelled in sin – they were exceedingly wicked. I would imagine that this information would have made its way around to the neighboring cities, don’t you? I’m sure that this level of evil living would be common knowledge. So Lot was not being wise at all! Like the men running with the bulls, he was setting himself up for disaster. Yes, everything could have turned out OK but Lot didn’t know that. Later on, we read how defeated he truly was and how he became complacent to the sin around him. He not only gave in to compromise, but he actually moved into the city!

Where are you today, teen girl? Are there areas in your life where you know the right thing to do but you’re either afraid to do it or don’t want to do it? It may be your circle of friends that are influencing you to do wrong. You are no different than Lot if you continue to hang out with them, teen girl. You can’t be judgmental of Lot when you’re guilty of the same sin. God wants us to pursue holiness, righteousness and biblical principles. When we are unequally yoked with unbelievers, or even saved people who are rebellious, we open ourselves to compromise and sin.

Choose wisely, teen girl. There are repercussions to sin. Look at Lot. What seemed innocent at first turned out to be horrible for him and his family. He lost his entire family, except for two daughters! That’s a big price to pay!

God gave you the Holy Spirit when you got saved. The Holy Spirit resides within you and He wants to guide and direct you. That’s why you hear His still small voice when you’re about to do something wrong. He gave you parents who want to keep you from harm and sin. If your parents aren’t saved, all the more reason for you to rely on God’s word!

Don’t compromise, teen girl! Seek wisdom from God’s word and let Him direct you in the path that you should go. Obey Him and yield yourself to Him. You will keep yourself from future heartache.

Psalms 119:35 Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.

Proverbs 4:14 Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.

Psalms 24:3-5 Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Psalms 101:3-4 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. A froward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked person.

Proverbs 11:19 As righteousness tendeth to life: so he that pursueth evil pursueth it to his own death.

Matthew 12:35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

Posted in Devotionals

To Date or Not to Date?


Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

As a Christian teen girl, you have read/heard these verses a thousand times – some of you may have it memorized. That’s a good thing! :-) Obedience to parents lays a foundation to all future relationships for a child. Obedience teaches a little child that there’s order in the home and there are consequences for disobeying. As that child grows and accepts Christ as Saviour, she learns that she must obey God as well. Obeying your parents fulfills the will of God, as we see in today’s Bible passages.

But you’re probably saying, wait Mrs. Kate, why are you talking about obedience when the topic is dating? Be patient … I’m laying the ground work. :-)

Your parents have already been down the dating road. Some may have been Christian teens themselves. Many will have had worldly relationships and heartaches. Dating is never mentioned in the Bible. Marriages were arranged by the parents and they lasted.

You may think that the Bible is an antiquated Book but as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

Teen girls who obey their parents will tend to have a better view of their parent’s wisdom. A father’s job is to teach his daughter to look for a Godly man who will draw her closer to Christ. If your father is a Godly father, he will be the type of man that you want to be looking for in a husband.  A Godly man will not try to entice a woman to sin. A Godly man will not try to be alone with her and steal her virginity before marriage. These are the goals of a worldly man. Teen boys are no different – in fact, during those teen years, a boy needs to learn self control over his body and his spirit. He has not reached that point and does not need to be practicing self restraint on you. The devil wants you to believe otherwise, though, so be wise and listen to your parents.

The best thing a teen girl can do is to wait, learn and watch. Don’t be in a rush to find that boy of your dreams. Christian boys need to mature, just like you. They have not mastered self control and have yet to learn to be Godly men. They are in a learning process as well. The guidelines below are just as important for them as they are for you.

Wait on the Lord – don’t rush ahead of Him trying to find that perfect boy. Trust me, the perfect boy is not out there… at least, not yet. He will be when he turns into a man.

Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Learn what you need to learn to be a good wife. Watch your mother. Train under her and let her be a mentor to you. Read as many Bible passages on being a Godly woman as you can. Ask your mother for books she recommends. Ask your father to suggest a Godly lady in your church who will take you under her wing and teach you what it means to be a wife. Study Proverbs 31:10-31 – that’s filled with wonderful instructions of what a good wife should be. Work on your own spiritual walk and draw close to the Lord. Also, learn to be a Titus woman (read Titus 2) and work on those qualities so you are ready when God brings that man to you.

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

If you are not learning and striving to be the woman that God wants you to be for the man that He is preparing for you, God will not bring that man into your life. You will get a man that is equal to the amount of time that you put into your spiritual walk. If you put into your life worldliness, disobedience, and selfishness, you will get a man who is worldly, won’t love the Lord and will be as selfish as you are. That is not a way to live the rest of your life. Trust me when I say this. I was saved after I was married and my husband was not saved. Being married to an unbeliever is very difficult and focusing on spiritual things was a real battle because my husband did not love the Lord. The devil used this to interfere with my spiritual growth as much as he could. It took discipline and hard work on my part to fight off the devil’s temptations. It is better to wait on the Lord and allow Him to provide that perfect man – your knight in shining armor! :-)

Once a man comes into the picture, watch that man and gauge his spiritual life what he does in the church. This is why it is best to wait for a man that God brings into your own church rather than dating around. A woman cannot judge a man’s spiritual fruit while dating. That man is always on his best behavior to try to win your affections. However, if he attends your church, you see him in action. And so do your parents and your Pastor. God has given your Pastor and parents eyes of wisdom and a heart that care for you. They will be looking at this young man’s spiritual walk and will be keeping in mind your spiritual well being.

Job 12:12 With the ancient is wisdom; and in length of days understanding.

Proverbs 4:6-7 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Waiting for the Lord to lead you to the man He has designed just for you will bring you joy beyond belief. You won’t have “settled” for just any boy. You will have received the gem that God intended for you.

Ecclesiastes 2:26 For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.

Posted in Devotionals