~1 Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
Today’s devotional is going to be all about “straight talk”! If you teen girls are old enough to dress immodestly, then you are old enough for me to be perfectly honest with you 🙂
It amazes me how many young ladies do not know the meaning of modesty. Their parents have not taught them and their friends do not practice it. I found it interesting that there is only one verse in all of the Bible that uses the word “modest/modesty” and that’s the verse above. If it is only mentioned once, we should take notice of it! 🙂
Modesty boils down to how well you know God’s Word. Why? Because modesty is a “hot topic” for women. They want a specific Bible verse that says, “Thou shalt not wear a top that shows your breasts.” There IS no such verse so that means we must study the matter out for ourselves to see what God says about it.
Girls get upset and downright angry when the topic of modesty comes up. 😡 Modesty can involve several things: the way we dress, the way we act and the way we talk.
Let’s start with the way girls/women ought to dress. Today’s teen girl likes the latest fashions – it’s important for her to dress the same way her friends dress because then she feels “accepted.” This is not a new thing – it was that way when I was a teenager. There’s nothing wrong with fashion as long as we keep that fashion in line with God’s Word.
If you’ve chosen your friends wisely (as we covered in Choosing Friends Wisely), this won’t be as difficult as the teen girl whose friends are not saved. If you have a rebellious heart, teenager, you will hate everything I write about in this devotional. I pray that you will desire to submit your heart to God and ask Him to lead you in this area of how to dress.
Let’s start off with some “straight talk” about boys. Once boys go through puberty, their male hormones kick in and their way of thinking drastically changes. Teenage boys have one thing on their minds and that is sex. Psychology Today had an article a few years ago that stated that men think of sex several times a day and teenage boys every seven seconds! Their bodies are maturing just like yours but in a different way. God created man to love his wife and to love to look at his wife. God also created woman to love her husband but she is not into “looks” as much as she is into “words.” She loves to hear the words “I love you” or “you look nice,” for example.
Since guys are so “visual,” they have a desire to look at girls. The Bible is filled with passages about fornication (sex before marriage) and adultery (sex with someone other than your spouse). Many of these verses deal with men looking upon a woman. The story of David and Bathsheba is a good example of this. David’s desire to commit adultery with Bathsheba came when he saw her taking a bath on the roof top (which was a custom in those days). Had he protected his eyes and turned away at the first sighting of her, he would not have sinned.
~2 Samuel 11:2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman [was] very beautiful to look upon.
Back to our straight talk – girls don’t think about sex as much as the guys. We do like to see a guy dressed in nice clothing, of course. But we women usually like talking to guys and we absolutely love it when they say nice things to us. We can’t possibly understand the problem that guys have because we are not made that way. That’s why many girls/women think that exposing their breasts in a low-cut top is no big deal. Ahh, but it IS a big deal to the guys!
Guys are bombarded with pictures of practically naked women on television, music, Internet, magazines, billboards, etc. That’s why porn addiction is primarily made up of men. For the saved teenage guy, this is a battle that he fights every single day! If you don’t believe me, ask your Dad to be honest with you in this area. If your Dad was privileged to be a saved teenager, he will be able to share with you how he dealt with protecting his eyes through God’s Word. As well, if your Dad was saved later on in life, he will be able to tell you how difficult it was for him to control his eyes and his heart and to keep them pure. Ask him what the first thing a guy usually looks at when he looks at a girl. I asked my husband this very question and he said that most men look at a girl’s breasts, then her derriere (buttocks/tush) and crotch area, then her legs. Don’t get angry with me for saying this, teenager! This is what my husband said. Last I checked, he was a man 😉
Dressing modestly means taking special care in covering up these three areas that guys tend to look at. Here’s where rebellion comes into the picture. Many teenagers (and grown women for that matter) will put the blame on the guys. They say, “It’s their responsibility not to look at me – they should look elsewhere. It’s not my fault that they are looking at my chest.” Now comes more straight talk: This is a cop out, plain and simple. The Bible says:
~Romans 14:21 [It is] good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor [any thing] whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, OR IS MADE WEAK. (the underlining and capitalizing is my own emphasis)
If a guy is weak in this area, YOU are making it easy for your “brother” to sin by exposing your chest to him. Jesus said:
~Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
You, teenager, have caused a boy/man to commit adultery in his heart! This is sin and is very serious! You are as guilty of this sin then if you actually had sex with this boy/man! The Bible also says that we are to esteem the other person MORE than ourselves.
~Philippians 2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
That means putting the needs of someone else BEFORE your own needs! That doesn’t sound like God wants you to wear what you want even though it causes someone else to sin, does it?
If you cannot see this, then YOU have a heart problem, plain and simple! What Christian would truly want to cause someone to sin? When we are thinking of other people and wanting to help them, we won’t be quick to cause them to sin. Wearing tops that show off your breasts is not just a worldly fashion statement – it is an unspoken statement to saved men. It tells them several things: (1) you don’t listen to the Holy Spirit (2) you don’t respect yourself and, (3) you don’t care who you hurt. This is an extremely selfish attitude to have. Pride is the sin here. Are you angry with me yet? I’m praying that you desire to do what is right according to God’s Word, young lady! What saved man would want a woman with these characteristics?
Clothing can cover up your breasts but they can still be considered immodest if they are tight fitting. For example, if your top hugs your body and outlines your breasts and body, it will still attract guys’ eyes to those areas. The bottom line is to ask yourself WHY do you want to attract attention in this way? Why do you want to dress in a way that causes people to look at your breasts? I’ll tell you why – more straight talk. It is because your heart is not “right” in this area – you are not listening to God.
God is all about modesty – when Adam and Eve sinned, God clothed them in coats made of animal skins:
~Genesis 3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
He didn’t make fig leaves to cover just their “private” parts but coats to cover their entire bodies. It has only been since the 1900’s that women have begun to expose their breasts. Hollywood movies started the trend and it continues today. Sadly, each year seems to produce clothing that covers less and less body! Today, we see way more girls and women showing their breasts than we do women who cover up. Even Christian girls are dressing the same way the unsaved girls are dressing. This means that they are not spending enough time with the Lord in reading and studying their Bibles. If they were, the Holy Spirit would be speaking to their hearts and burdening them to cover up.
Form fitting tank tops and tight-fitting skirts are the fashion! I feel badly for the poor boys/men who want to protect their eyes from sin! A born-again Christian teenager should desire to obey God’s Word just as much as a grown saved woman. Causing a boy/man to sin is a very serious matter. Therefore, if you totally hate what I have said here, you should check your heart. If you have never heard straight talk like this but you feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then start to cover up your body.
Boys and men look at a girl’s “derriere (behind/tush) and front/crotch” as well as their legs. I’m not going to cover whether you should wear pants or dresses/skirts here. But I will say that if your clothing is so tight that a boy can see the outline of your “tush and crotch” then this is definitely not modest in the least. WHY would you want a guy looking at this area of your body? Better yet, WHY would you WANT a guy who is only interested in that? If you don’t care, then you have now become guilty of causing him to commit adultery in his heart – and you are just as guilty.
I am not telling you to dress up like an Amish woman here, covered from head to toe. There are some very beautiful fashions out there that you can wear that cover these parts of your body. More importantly, there are fashions that you can wear that won’t cause a man to stumble and sin because he is looking at you! I am trying to guide you through God’s Word to be careful how you cause a boy/man to sin by what you wear. A Christian guy who loves the Lord wants a girl who also loves the Lord and this is the type of girl he will want to marry. He wants a woman who does not desire to have other men looking at her body in such a way that is meant only for a husband.
If you are angry with me, ask yourself why. God will show you that when we sin, we don’t want to be corrected. Cain didn’t like it when God came to him and asked him where Abel was after Cain had killed Abel. But God came right out and told Cain exactly what he did and punished him for it. How will you be punished now that you know how to dress right and refuse to do so? You will attract the kind of guy that will bring you heartache. You will attract a guy that loves you only for your body so when you gain weight, he will lose his love for you. You will attract a guy who does not love the Lord. As a result, he will lead you to have sex before marriage. You may possibly end up pregnant before you get married. In the end, you will attract a guy who is not saved and your life will be miserable if you marry him. I speak from experience in this area and it is my desire to warn you not to follow the path that I took before I was saved.
If you are truly born again and want to please God, then you will want to learn what He has to say about this very important matter. The world is obsessed with women exposing their bodies to attract the opposite sex. You don’t have to wait long while watching television before you can spot this goal. This should be a red flag to you, Christian! If the world likes it, chances are you should stay far away from it.
“You can dress a pig up in a dress but it is still a pig and it still oinks and it still smells!” So modest speech and actions will be our next devotional topic 🙂